Unconquered Countries-Four Novellas Read online

  I took him home to his woman.

  She was small and harried.

  She wore a dressing gown

  out into the night.

  The door of their house

  slammed shut behind her and locked.

  She gave a sad little cry,

  like a bird,

  “Oh no. Oh no.”

  Faraway,

  (0869)

  on a cold little nugget of a world.

  0851

  Z

  P 5.31

  S 7.32

  Cl 3.92

  Ar .407

  K 4.22

  Ca 6.01

  Sc 2.982

  Ti 4.8113

  V 4.27

  Cr 5

  Mn 5.102

  Fe 10.372

  Co 1.089

  Ni 5.808

  0877

  Control

  What is going on?

  Look at the count for iron!

  Z, your pardon please.

  For this log S =

  12.00 for hydrogen?

  0888

  Z

  Yes, Control, as stated.

  0890

  Control

  Extraordinary.

  (0894)

  Continue, Z.

  0871

  B

  Old doors open.

  I remember pain,

  how it leapt

  from the body to the soul

  and wounded it.

  I remember handshakes,

  touching,

  the scrape of skin on skin.

  I remember speech,

  lungs forcing out words

  that were lost or misconstrued;

  hills;

  muscles that ached and needed feeding;

  food!

  How the throat would gather it

  and push it down in lumps,

  how it merged with me

  as I swallowed it.

  I remember weight

  pinning me to a chair,

  holding my body to the ground.

  That body

  that could not fly.

  That body that would betray me

  and die.

  Limitations, limitations!

  cutting into my soul.

  Things I could not do.

  Things I could not prevent.

  Living as I slowly died,

  body and mind

  exchanging hope and poison.

  I don’t want to remember!

  I want to forget!

  Forget Humanity and being human.

  If I could forget, I would be free!

  Then I would slip

  into the warm whiteness of subspace

  and be reborn

  (0906)

  in galaxies beyond their grasp!

  0894

  Z

  Cu 4.5

  Zn 3.5

  Ga 2.73

  Ge 2.509

  Rb 2.55

  Sr 3.09

  Y 3.245

  Zr 2.71

  Nb .006

  Mo 2.43

  Ru .04

  Ag 8.77

  Cd 1.02

  In .07

  Sn .004

  (0912)

  Sb .19

  5/0911

  B

  Should I tell them?

  It was nothing,

  something small and silent

  rooted round a sunsore like a mold.

  Should I tell them

  that I saw it?

  Is it living?

  Could they leave it growing

  undisturbed?

  Or would they conquer it and claim it,

  make it theirs with understanding.

  Can they hear me?

  They can hear our thoughts,

  I know that.

  If they can, they know already

  where to find it.

  They know I hate and fear them.

  (0927)

  And Zoe still counts.

  0912

  Z

  Ba .009

  La 2.65

  Ce .82

  Eu 1.13

  0920

  Control

  Europium

  On a sun?

  Z

  Tb .089

  Ho .001

  Yb .008

  W .03

  Os .45

  (0932)

  Au .37

  0929

  B

  Aaaah!

  Something moved!

  I felt it!

  Zoe! Zoe!

  0936

  Z

  Bee!

  I count!

  0940

  B

  Zoe!

  Something’s moving! Something is alive.

  0946

  Z

  Where are you?

  What coordinate?

  0946

  The Alien

  Shiftpoint.

  0948

  B

  What?

  0950

  Z

  Where are you?

  0951

  The Alien

  Shiftpoint there!

  0953

  B

  It thinks!

  It thinks!

  0955

  The Alien

  Otherself!

  0956

  B

  Zoe! Zoe!

  Come here, it thinks, it’s alive!

  0958

  Control

  What does he mean, Z?

  0959

  Z

  What coordinate, Bee?

  Bee, what coordinate?

  0960

  The Alien

  Ticklethoughts!

  Leapsniff

  Snuffletaste!

  0963

  B

  I can see it!

  0965

  Control

  Please repeat, Angels.

  We cannot follow.

  Angels, repeat, please!

  0966

  The Alien

  Play!

  from Remembrances of Bee

  When we found them, it was nestled around Bee. It hung like a curtain in folds, folds of light, and it rippled as it swam. I thought for a moment it might hurt him. Then I felt it too. A probing, shy mind, so slowly, delicately nuzzling my own.

  Then it leapt skittishly away, and danced and Bee followed. It gamboled and called us My Other Selves. It spun, and stopped, and its folds flowed on about it. It was dazzlingly beautiful.

  We tried to tell it who we were. We showed it pictures, memories. It shivered in confusion and delight at the thought of lands beyond the sky. It eats nothing, but bums through itself, a filament.

  For its gentleness and purity, Bee called it Dajja—the unicorn’s real name. He meant this as a warning and as a revenge.

  On the star of Daphne, I learned the truth.

  from the letters of Raul Kundara

  Hola Mari,

  Sad news, sad news. You were brave not to tell me that you were ill. But please, let me know next time. And do not run through too often. You know the limit. I am very glad that you are well now.

  Bad news comes in threes, like dwarves. Senior Talsman has been sent home. I remember seeing his face the day before it happened. He sat at lunch, eyes staring, his lower lip hiding his upper. He looked like a child about to cry. I thought then how upset and unsteady he looked.

  The next day in the kitchens, we heard the Senior shouting. “Why do you humiliate me?” he yelled at the Chief. Chief shouted back at him, “I don’t take orders from you! You are blind to Achilleans!” Chief was angry!

  “The old bladder,” Chief called the Senior, later. “He hates Achilleans. You cannot see it, but I do.” Could that be true? Would a prejudiced man be placed as Senior? Chief made us all laugh at Senior Talsman, widened his eyes and quivered in imitation of him. “Tell them about our food throwing, and what he said,” Chief demanded of me. I do not like to make charges, but I think Chief pulled us all a
gainst Senior Talsman. Can two dutiful men, placed and certed, hate each other? I did mean to speak quietly with the Senior, but failed to. Now I must regret my lack of wisdom.

  The same day Senior Talsman went in tears to Senior Thoroughgood and asked to be placed for Earth. We held a farewell dinner for him. It was a mistake. He looked weak and tired and ill with us. His blockmates cleared his room for him. I saw his things—holograms of Earth trayed for Sliding. Fields, running water, gentle forests. They looked very private and sad. Senior Talsman worked as a regular at the station for fifteen years. He goes home to nothing. Chief has been given his placing. There was no one else to do the job. Senior Stavakanda, he is called now.

  You will remember Gareth, my young blockmate. His father has died after a long, helpless illness. I did not know he was ill, though others did. Gareth was called into the casting room. He appeared at my doorway a few moments later. He did not come in. “I will be gone many days,” he told me. Suddenly his face reddened and he gripped the bridge of his nose. “My father has just died.” His voice broke, and he ran. I called out my respects too late.

  So Gareth is gone. We weren’t friends. He would come and talk to me when I didn’t want to talk. But now it seems he was trying to ease me into the life of the station. I must remember duty to people. There are so many duties.

  Nothing else has happened. No word on my research. Keep well yourself. Let me know if you are ill again. I am sure I could arrange leave to see you, if you are. I will try to write and cast to you more often.

  * * *

  My respects to my Placer Robt, my chanter Bella, Nive and her ward Zal; Deo and Ri, Tam and you, and also, especially to Cila. Let her know I am well.

  from the Hellespont Angelogs

  Transcripts of 1363/21/9

  Time

  Recorded Material

  7/4471

  Control

  Z,

  we have lost them again.

  4476

  Z

  He still plays with the alien.

  Shall I throw what I hear to you?

  4481

  Control

  No, thank you.

  Please relay coordinates.

  4486

  Z

  -13.7321X, + 3.224Y, -9.81Z

  They are descending rapidly,

  Control.

  7/4500

  Control

  Thank you, Z.

  We have them.

  4500

  The Alien

  Feelrush

  Rippleshock

  4502

  B

  Rippleshock!

  4503

  The Alien

  Rippleshock

  Tumbleturn

  Spinwhip

  Brightburn

  Crashroll

  (4509)

  Skyhaze-Shinebright

  4506

  Z

  I feel sadness.

  Bee has left me alone

  and I am spying on him.

  4510

  Control

  (More emotional problems.

  What is awry

  with them this counting?

  We have no need of it,

  (4520)

  now of all times!)

  4509

  The Alien

  Plungeroar!

  4510

  B

  Plungeroar!

  4511

  The Alien

  Plungeroar-down!

  4513

  B

  Down!

  4514

  The Alien

  Downfar-Downdeep!

  4514

  Both together

  Down!

  4522

  The Alien

  Hah-hah!

  Fardown Coolplace

  Coolplace Clean!

  Downdeep

  Quietstorm

  Waftsleep

  Nameplace

  Peacenames

  (4531)

  All the names of peace!

  4533

  Control

  We do not understand, Z.

  What is happening?

  4538

  Z

  The alien names.

  4540

  Control

  Names?

  4542

  Z

  That is what it does.

  It eats nothing. It

  sleeps at times.

  Otherwise, it names things.

  It has few verb concepts.

  Those it has translate

  into forms of “to be”

  or “to feel” or “to know.”

  It thinks in great

  passive chunks of noun.

  4560

  Control

  Primitive.

  4561

  Z

  I do not know.

  What it says logs into language.

  4565

  Control

  True, but we can also log

  animals and even plants.

  Gibbons think in great blasts

  of emotion.

  It is not so different from

  (4574)

  this.

  4532

  B

  Peacenames!

  All of them!

  4534

  The Alien

  Stillpeace

  Softpeace

  Loudpeace

  Proudpeace

  Listenwatchpeace

  Deafblindpeace

  Lifepeace

  Dreampeace

  Sleeppeace

  Wakepeace

  Surepeace

  Uncertainpeace

  Laughpeace

  Soarpeace

  Weep-peace

  Awepeace

  —Awepeace, strong

  see Firerage or chasm!—

  Awepeace

  Humblepeace

  Settlepeace

  Surrender

  4558

  B

  Surrender? To what?

  4560

  The Alien

  Awe!

  Life!

  like Lifepeace,

  like my surrender

  to the red,

  to the thinning.

  4566

  B

  And conflict?

  4568

  The Alien

  Conflict-peace!

  4570

  B

  Conflictpeace?

  4572

  The Alien

  Greatfire

  Manyfaces

  but one even so

  Allpeace

  Highpeace

  All things me

  I God

  Me God

  4580

  B

  What?

  4581

  Control

  What? What did it say?

  4584

  Z

  It called itself God.

  4585

  The Alien

  All things me thing

  Myself Otherself

  Self love

  Otherself love

  Dajja!

  4591

  Control

  We must interrupt.

  We are getting nowhere!

  4592

  B

  Dajja! You know your name!

  4594

  Z

  Bee, my love…

  4595

  The Alien

  Nextself!

  4597

  Control

  B, this is Control.

  7/4601

  The Alien

  Newvoice!

  4604

  Control

  Excuse us.

  We would like to ask the alien

  a few questions.

  4606

  B

  Proof of intelligence.

  He’s listening to us.

  He knows his name!

  4608

  The Alien

  Hello Newvoice

  Hello Nextself!

/>   Hello!

  Hello!

  4613

  Control

  Hello.

  4615

  The Alien

  Hello!

  4617

  Control

  Hello.

  4617

  B

  I think you’ll have to stop saying hello.

  4620

  Control

  Dajja?

  You called yourself God.

  What did you mean by that?